Long ago there was a family of three. A mother named Marie,
a father named Anthony, and a little boy named Jack. The family was as happy as
can be. The father was a stay at home dad and the mother was a police officer.
Marie was an officer is a bad part of town, so her guard always had to be up.
Over the past couple of week’s, she noticed the same car would always follow
her while she was on duty. When she would go into a gas station this car would
go in as well. She wrote down the license plate but didn’t think anything of
it.
The next day was going to be the worst day of her life. She
noticed that the car was no where to be seen. She thought that this was peculiar.
When Marie pulled into her own driveway, her heart stopped. There were police
cars with flashing lights, an ambulance, and caution tape set up. She ran in to
see her son, Jack, on a stretcher covered with a blanket. Marie dropped to her
knees and cried in agony. Her heart was broken. While on the ground she saw a
cell phone. She instantly went off with it to find out who’s it was. She was quick
to realize that the man that continually followed her was targeting her and
went after her little boy. Marie looked to the sky and said “You don’t know who
you just messed with”.
Marie quickly devised a plan to get this guy. She plugged in
the license plate and found that his name was Sean. With this information she
found his legal records. He had been in trouble with stalking before, but
murder had never been an issue. She noticed some parking violations and court
orders from herself. Marie could only assume that this was the reason why he
chose her. She would soon find out exactly why.
Marie drove to Sean’s registered location from the license
plate and started screaming “Get out here you coward!”. She drew her weapon and
was ready to fire. She felt as though Sean had to pay for what he had done.
Sean quickly appeared and began to tell her why he killed Jack. It was all
because of Marie.
Sean said “Hello Marie. Nice to see you again. You may not
remember me but you pulled me over a few times because of some violations on my
part. I begged you to let me off because I couldn’t afford to pay the ticket.
All the money I had was to give to my daughter. But you still gave me the
tickets. Because of this, my daughter’s mother took her away and was granted
full custody. I had to get you back. I feel like I did.”
Marie felt a pain in her chest and a lump in her throat. She
knew that she was not the person she was becoming. And with that, Marie thought
of her sweet son Jack. She remembered how kind and thoughtful he was. He would
not want his mom to purposefully kill another person. Marie quickly realized
that she was not a murderer and put down the gun. Without hesitation she pulled
Sean to the ground and put him in hand cuffs. She called the station and he was
quickly placed behind bars.
Two weeks later Marie went to see Sean in prison. He came up
to the window and she picked up the phone and said with a tear in her eye “I am
sorry about your daughter, and I forgive you for my son”. Marie then promptly
got up and never saw him again.
Author’s notes:
I based this story off of a line from the Mahabharata. It is
“May the curse of a father and the vengeance of a warrior smite the murderers
of my boy!”. I felt as if I wanted to turn this quote into a story, but have a
twist. In the quote it says warrior, so I choose the mother to be the warrior.
Her being a police officer gave her an edge and warrior-like training. I did
not want my main character to be bad. I wanted her to realize that she could
not hurt another person the way that her son was hurt, unlike in the
Mahabharata. I took a lot of liberties with this story, but I like the way it
turned out.
Bibliography: Public Domain Mahabharata written by Mackenzie and Nivedita, online source
This was a very creative take on the story! I like that you based the whole thing off of one line. You had a good description of how you created the story in the author’s note which was really helpful. I enjoyed reading your story and it was really well written! You had couple small grammatical errors but they were not distracting to the story! Great work!
ReplyDeleteWow this was very a very creative story. I liked how you allowed the mom to be the "warrior" in the story. I think women are considered warriors to their little children because they are protectors. I also liked how you used a very realistic setting. People lose their children and almost lose their life to drunk drivers, and sometimes you hear about the mothers forgiving them. I am very interested to know how you initially came up with this idea because it was well organized and pieced together.
ReplyDeleteWow Hannah, that is amazing. I think it is fantastic the way you took a simple quote and just ran with it. I used to date a female officer and this sounds exactly how she would have reacted. I like how dark you were able to take it for the sake of the story. You took some risk and I feel like it was very successful. This story would have been a challenge for me to tell so quickly. Thanks the interesting read. I like what you did when you said she looked up and screamed that the criminal that did this did not know what he had done. I felt her pain and anger all at once. Good job.
ReplyDeleteWow! Reading this story, gave me a big knot in my throat. It's really sad, but good. Here are a few notes I made while reading it:
ReplyDelete1. week’s - this should be weeks
2. I noticed that you place a period (.) after “Get out here you coward!”. No need to place periods after an exclamation point.
3. Well organized paragraphs and storyline